3: Virgins

The last 2 hours of the ride were brutal.

We're running the Gauntlet, I kept thinking to myself. 70mph, then 55, then 45, then 35 and I knew what was coming next. Mish and Siv's car was in front of ours, and their dim tail light concerned me. 25mph around the next turn and my fears were confirmed. Five-Oh. But they already had someone pulled over, and there was gear all over the side of the road as the officer played his flashlight across the exposed contents of their car. Exactly what I was afraid of, and we were only just starting this final piece of the trip. I knew they'd be out in force. There was no question of where everyone was going, and the chances of finding contraband in any number of the cars that passed through were... well, high. We rolled by exact, the speedometer pegged at the limit, eyes straight ahead. Next to me, Lu slept, nearly snoring. Before me my friends' bikes tires spun slow, hung tight to the bike rack. A glace in the rearview proved our bikes were still attached, too.

Beyond the miniscule town the limit rose to 35mph, then 45, then 55, the 70. Mish laid on the gas and the caravan sped away. I followed slightly more slowly.

Over the next 2 hours we did that again and again, barely dodging the cops as they search other cars. Finally we passed a sign: The End Is Near. I hooted with joy and it woke Lu up.

"Wha, how the where are we?"

"Almost there," I replied. "The end is near."

"Cool."

"You're telling me!"

Then around the curve and there it was. A squat Vegas. A flat city filled with light. In the distance to our right, the large curve of Black Rock City glimmered glowing in the dark, moonless night.

Pulling in they checked for stowaways, thoroughly. Then came the rules from our new friend Dex.

"Alright, so in the portapotties, only the 4 Ps: Piss, Poop, Paper and Puke. Nothing else. And please don't empty your grey water into them. This is the 5th vendor they've used and if we can't use them next year, there may be no Burning Man. Let's see, so do you have any video cameras, if so you need to register them."

"We don't," I replied.

"Okay, I guess that's it..."

"Well actually, could you tell us where we'd find 4:20 and Gestalt?"

And then his eyes went wide. "Wait a second, does that mean..."

"It does," I replied, grinning.

"Alright then! You're my first ones of the year! Out of the car and come with me!"

We unbelted and stepped out, the car idling but parked. Together Lu and I followed Dex a few steps and then there it was: The Bell.

"Ring it!" He demanded, laughing.

And we did. This time we were Burning Man Virgins. After this week, we never would be again.