12: Lost

We sat at the edge of Black Rock City and saw lights coming our way. Our conversation paused and then quieted. Slowly, slowly, slowly the headlights got brighter, then blinding, then the white patrol truck slowly drove by. I had the bowl long out of sight by then, but even the fleeting presence of the sherriff couldn't stop me from letting out some shouts of nighthrill hootinanny.

"That's right sher! Just keep driving! WHOOOOOEEEE!" Then I capered. My friends lounged on the playa laughing.

"We gotta go to the Man next!"

"I want to go in the maze!"

"Let's do it!"

So we gathered our shit and hit the road. It wasn't until a while later when we pulled up at the towering neon form that I went to reach for my Nalgene full of water. But it wasn't hanging from my handlebars where I usually kept it.

"Hey Lu, do you have my water bottle in your basket?"

"Nope," she replied. "Why you don't have it?"

"Nope. I must have left it at the edge! Dammit!"

"No biggie."

"I know, but it's MOOP, too."

"Moop?" Siv asked.

"Matter out of place. Not supposed to leave anything behind on the playa. Everything you bring in, no matter how small, needs to go back out with you. The call it MOOP. And I just contributed WABOOP. Water bottle out of place."

"You are such a dork!" Wags taunted me even as she and Siv and Lu laughed.

"Come'on guys!" Mish called from the entrance.

There was tons of commotion around the Man. Hundreds of bikes parked and piled all over the place as more people rolled up or walked by. Groups of furry freaks gathered in the cool night air as the roving artcars blasted music, fired lights and cruised across the playa, rumbling. In the distance, the curve of the esplanade was bejeweled by the green and red and puple of glowsticks and glowrings. Whirling balls of fire spun on invisible arms as blasts of furnace powered flamed launched into the darkness above suddenly visible dancers, their writhing forms impossibly small in the distance. Behind and above, the Man loomed, slowly turning. I followed Wags eagerly as she filed into the maze. The door was thin plywood and barely large enough to let me by.

I had no idea where everyone else was, but Wags was right in front of me. I figured the rest of them were just ahead, but things quickly got insanely confusing. We went through one room that was painted purple and it had a dresser and a chair in it and the exit was a little revolving door. There were people coming the other way so I jumped in the next available slot and shuffled foward a few steps until I could squeeze through to the next room on the right. Wags popped out behind me and we kept moving. This room was all white with weird bulging forms on the wall and some multicolored paintings in odd frames stuck here and there. The next room was dark and the one after that had a lot of people in it, all coming in and going out in different directions. We followed a few people around another tiny revolving door and then stopped for a second after squeezing out into another room to clear our heads. We were totally lost. Then I heard Lu's voice. It was coming from above and to our left. Somehow they had made it to the second level. We tried to go that way, but the only door was on the right. Then a piece of the wall moved and someone pushed their way through a hidden canvas door.

"Wow!" I cried as my eyes went wide. The woman flopped into the room and then looked around frustrated. "Let's go!" I said to Wags, and we peeled back the painted fabric and pushed through. But this was a room we'd already been in!

"Dammit!"

"Try back this way," Wags suggested. And so we went out the end of the room. But it wasn't right either.

Finally I found a pole and tried to shimmy up it. I got close to the top, but then I couldn't get far enough above the second floor to step up on it. Instead, exhausted, I just slid back down foiled, and we continued wandering in vain.

I could not believe how complicated the thing was! The whole base structure of the Man could not have been larger than fifty feet on a side. But the inside felt enormous. We had so much trouble finding our way through, it nearly drove us insane. Finally, through another secret door we found a room we'd never been in, then another after that and then eventually, cheering we came across the stairway and ran up them to find our friends who had been waiting at least forty minutes up there, if not more.

"You did it!"

"How the hell did you guys get up here so fast?" I demanded.

"Mish was here yesterday. She remembered how to do it!"

"What!?" Wags demanded. "That's not fair! We've been lost forever and you guys just ran up here? Lame!"

"Well, at least we did it right. We figured it out instead of just cheating!"

"Whatever! You're just jealous that I beat you up here!" And then Lu flounced away to check out the silly wandering of those lost below.

It was amusing as hell to watch. Especially when people tried to give suggestions to their friends on how to make it to the stairs. Half the time they'd tell them to go the wrong way on purpose just to mess with them. The maze was a mind-torture that was just too fun. And up there on that second level, in the center of the floor, you could push a wheel around and when a few people got together doing it, the Man above would turn at a good clip, and the longer He turned, the farther his hands would raise. That way, we could tell when things were going crazy in the Man 'cause He'd be spinning at a good clip with is hands raised in triumph. We knew everyone all around the esplanade could see what we were doing. But then it was time to go. I ran for the pole, jumped into the air, grabbed hold and slid down. Lu, still above, was a bit more hesitant. Finally she fought her fears, grabbed hold and slid down. I caught here before she hit the ground. The rest of the crew followed and we started moving back through the maze of crazy rooms and tiny doors. In seconds we were seperated again. My tripping head began to rattle and then hum and finally almost explode. No matter what we did we could not get out of the loop we were in. Five times. FIVE TIMES we walked through a bunch of rooms, only to come out at the stairs again. Five fucking times in a row we ended up exactly where we couldn't find before, and now couldn't not find. It was infuriating.

I don't even know how we did it, but finally a breath of fresh air blew through and somehow or another, we followed it back out to the blessed, open freedom of the playa. It felt amazing to be free. All in all, we probably spent close to two hours lost in that maze. It was insane!

"You know I should have radioed you with the walkie talkie to have you help us get through!" I said to Lu as we rode back towards camp. We needed more provisions before for the rest of the night.

"I don't have my walkie talkie."

"What? Why not! You were supposed to have that with you at all times so we don't get lost."

"It's gone! I told you that."

"It is? You did? When did we lose it?" I asked her.

"We didn't lose it. It was stolen. It was in Wags' basket when her bike was stolen."

"Holy shit. I didn't realize that."

"Well I told you."

"I'm sure you did. But somehow I missed it. Damn that sucks. That's good to know 'cause I was counting on them if we ever got seperated."

"Well, don't anymore, and stay close. I can't even really see cause I'm tripping and that maze almost made me lose my mind!"

"I know! It was crazy! And I'll keep you close, don't you worry. Just keep on rolling. We're almost there!"

"Alrighty" Lu replied.

Together, in silence, the others just up ahead, we aimed for Curvas Peligrosas. As the wheels spun beneath me, my mind still spun on the tiny revolving doors under the Man, still lost in amazement at all this we were a part of, and at how much thieves really do suck.