11: The Edge

The cool breeze whipped by as we rolled hard through the deep playa darkness. It exhilarated my glee. It was wonderful to be out and on bikes, the night high and loose around me. So good to be free of the confusion. Darkness had brought trailers, too. Trailers of motion behind swinging limbs pumping to the beat of the music as we partied at the camp. Then many stages of greeneon blasting by as a glowstick was tossed to a friend getting the bikes ready to go out. Wiring the spokes with multicolored light. Lulu and I laughed at the trend we were discovering as we straddled our bikes, ready. That eons passed between the time it was decided it was time to go, and the moment when the going actually went. Then I had to go back for my eyedrops. Lulu refilled her bottle and added more ice. I realized I needed new batteries for my flashlight. And Lu dropped her bike to go back for another layer. I thought that was a good idea so I followed her, and while we were in our tent, we heard G and Wags calling for us.

"We'll almost ready!" But by the time we were out and back at the bikes, they had disappeared. Waiting, I did a lazy loop leaning in, out on Gestalt, in front of a pumpin' Curvas Peligrosas. Finally, again, G and Wags emerged from the party throng. They mounted, and then relieved to finally be in motion, we wheeled off.

And now we were flying across the playa as fast as Wags' one speed borrowed bike would let her. I did many weaving loops as we crossed the flatness in a long, straight line from 4:20 oclock up to 10 oclock. The Green Gorilla Lounge was our destination. Mish and Siv were the targets of our mad pedaldash. There had been a plan, but the plan had been destroyed by: fiesta, watchlessness, sauza, great tunes and probably most contributory, the tab Lu and I had split just before the sun took a final plunge towards the horizon. Our eyes were open wide behind our goggles as the night rushed by and we rushed to get across and find our friends we'd said we'd meet when the party was over, or some such nonsense.

All of a sudden at the party we had realized it had been night for a while, and that we had to get over there to meet them, or there was no way we were finding them for the rest of the night. So we rallied and then we rode. Hard. Same thing with the trip cascading through my brain. The speed of the bike and the hard flatness of the world caused euphoric delights. Then a form unpeeled from the darkness and it was a shape in the night. We circled briefly, wondering what it could be. It never told us and we didn't guess aloud. Onward we rode.

We got close, but things seemed off. This place was usually a mad tangle of weird people dancing beneath a dome to the sweet sounds of some dj. There was a bar off to the left with micro-brew keg beer and all kinds of crazy liquor drinks. All you had to bring was a cup.

But there was no one there. We expected another party and instead found a ghost-dome.

"They probably left hours ago!" Lu exclaimed as we rode directly into the space.

I circled the round inside edge counterclockwise past the stage then the entrance to the side bar, then past the front door again as Lu stood on her toes in the middle and we looked around at where no one was.

Then hooray! They appeared out of no where! From behind a covered wall of the dome they burst in as happy and surprised as we were!

"We were just about to leave and here you are!" Mish exclaimed.

"We didn't think you guys were going to make it!" Siv agreed as we passed around hugs.

"I know! It got late and then party was still going but it takes us hours to get out of camp anyway so we just rode here really fast hoping that you hadn't left yet and you didn't! I'm so happy!" Lu said in a rush.

"Alright! We'll get our bikes!"

"Do it do it!" I hollered after them. "Sweet. This is gonna be fun," I said to Lu.

"Where are we going?" G called from outside the dome. I wheeled out there and nearly clipped him with my slow wobble. "Watch it!"

"I'm watching it I'm watching it!" I shouted back as I picked up speed and then looped around. "Yeah where are we going?"

Siv and Mish rolled into view, big grins spread across their faces.

"I can't believe you guys are still here," Lu said as she straddled the bike out of the dome, the boy's bar making her move on tip-toes.

"We were napping and then we woke up and we couldn't believe it was ten-thirty-"

"-and we said nine," Lu said to me over her goggles.

"-so we just decided to get up and go and just as we were getting ready to leave there you were!"

"It's a Burning Man miracle!" I shouted at the stars.

"So where are we going?" Mish asked, her eyes wide behind her glasses.

"Let's go to the perimeter," Wags offered, casually.

"The perimeter?" Siv asked. It was his first time, too.

"Out on the other side. Past the Man, where twelve or one oclock would be."

The streets only ran from 2 oclock to 10 oclock. At the center where the clock hands would meet stood the Man. But the entire circular area of Burning Man was enclosed with a fence. Together we went to find it. Six strong we headed straight for the Man, and then past Him. He spun slowly as we rode past. A huge throng of people were gathered around the base of the tall, neon figure.

"There's a Maze in there," Mish told me.

"Really? Like underneath Him?"

"Totally."

"Oh we have to go in there."

"We're going in there!" Lu called to us. "We're definitely going in the Maze."

"Definitely!"

"We can go later tonight!" Siv suggested.

"Perfect!" we all agreed.

"First to the Edge, though," G finished.

"Always to the Edge!" I shouted back to him as I pedaled off mad dash fast 'cause it felt so fun.

The goggles were tight to my face and I had a bandana wrapped around my mouth. I had a warm shirt on underneath, then a thin gold vest/shirt, and then a button down gold lamae women's blouse on over that. Camo pants covered my legs. It was the same thing I wore every night. Bright and weird enough to fit in and be seen, but warm enough to keep me comfy all night long. Warm socks and Crocs covered my feet. When we got out past everything was when the cool breeze turned windy.

"I can't see!" Lu called from behind me. I slowed to let her catch up. G and Wags passed by and pedaled on ahead as Siv explored a strange structure to the left and Mish cruised off to the side, serene.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I can't see!"

"Me neither!" I called back to her. "You just gotta go with it!" A muffled grunt of annoyance was all I heard back. But it was true. I really couldn't see that well. Things were moving and shimmering, darting through my sight and mind. Out here it was just dark. Thick dark. Moonless. And the thin beam of our head lights and headlamps were no match for the vastness. I was pedaling on adrenaline and instinct alone. Just forward, balanced, steady, hopeful. The rest of the crew was up before me. G's bell rang and the glow strips on Wags' borrowed bike spun fast over the black rock below us. And still we pedaled on.

When I rode looking up, I nearly fell off the earth. When I looked around at the flatness, I felt my soul thin and spread across the desert, blown by the gritty nightbreeze and softly, softly tickled by the meager light of a billion stars blazing at a distance from above. We were at the edge of the world. The edge of thought. The edge of life. There was nothing out here but us. Not even insects plyed the dusty air. Just six humans on six machines with twelve wheels and eyes and legs and arms to move us through the darkness to the limit of our world. Six minds alight. Twelve lungs full of panting laughter.

Lu couldn't see, so I looked harder to help her. And then suddenly we were there. An orange fence, the curve so subtle it almost looked straight. That's how large the circle was we roamed within. Up close and personal, it looked straight. But in truth it was a long, steady dangerous curve that whipped by before us and wrapped all the way around, hours out of sight behind.

There was nothing here but us. So we did the only and absolute thing one should always do at a place like this, as midnight neared, as the stars blazed above, as our bikes lay scattered about and the only sound around was the laughter and shouts and babble of our far-flung party at the very precipice of life. We did what must be done. I packed a bowl. We smoked it, relaxing on the earth. We cracked beers, we toasted life, friends, laughter, first times and love. And truly the world was wonderful, out there in the darkness, lounging at the edge.